First day of school, and it was good, a lot of slacking though. Lol, we guys were crapping as usual and the class was so noisy. After school, we went to have our lunch? Junpeng and I walked to the place while the rest went by bus. I had a nice chat with Junpeng, chatted about anime. After meeting the dudes, realised there were no activities later, walked to the bus stop with Junpeng, Justin, Weiheng and QuanJie.
On the bus, it was quite fun, when you have two very guailan guys shooting bad remarks about Justin, Lol. Justin was pathetic as we three were like ganging up on him. Well, he accompanied me though, thanks. Reached home in a jiffy.
Went to the gym just now. My belly's showing, need to exercise more. Tomorrow having P.E, going all out for it, haha. K, signing off! Bye. Oh yeah, one joke i found.
SeX Scandals.
A couple walked into a tourist shop in Jamaica. The Jamaican said to them, I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. “Dey makes you wild at sex.”
Well, the wife was reallyinterested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn’t need them, being the sex God he was.
The husband asked the man, “How could sandals make you into a sex freak?” The Jamaican replied, “Just try dem on, Mon.” So, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn’t seen in many years! In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican’s hips.
The Jamaican then began screaming, “You got dem on the de wrong feet man! You got dem on de wrong feet!”
Woots, it's been a long time since i've updated. Yesterday, i went to WenJie BBQ party. Somehow, it is not a party but a gathering for basketball, Lol. I had to leave early because i had obligations, Lol. Ok, i am going back to gaming, signing off!
Wednesday, we went to play basketball, i think. Oh great, it was so fun, we kept laughing while playing basketball. A lot of things happened, lazy to elaborate. Then, after basketball, we went to the void deck nearby to have a rest. Someone mentioned about eating steamboat? Eventually, this sentence leads to my next paragraph.
Thursday, the dudes and I went to WenJie's brother's house for steamboat. Hmm, let me see, who went? JinLan, Adeline, Debbie, YongSheng, Sean, Jie Hauw, Jia Chen, Quan Jie, Si Jie, WenJie, Wei Heng, Jun Hwee and me, i suppose that's all. What a pity, some people couldn't stay overnight. It was quite boring during some parts of the stay, but overall, fun. Morning came and almost all of us went down to have a swim. Oh god, it was so good. We were all full of fatigue, we needed a refresher. We played wrestling in the water with our favourite anime characters. Poor WeiHeng, he was constantly being beaten up. After a game of headers, i headed back for the house. I found untidiness very uneasy, so i cleaned the whole living room. Three little pigs were sleeping, so i did it all by myself. Sean came up later to help me.
Still got much much more to update but as i think of it, my post will be too long-winded, Lol. Ok, signing off, bye!
What a day! I shall update from yesterday. After the chalet, i went back home and got some sleep. I don't know some guy mention something about finishing the leftover food from the BBQ at anyone's house. In the end, we agreed to meet at Sean's house for steamboat. I was supposed to be early, ok, i swore, but due to some circumstances, i was the latest to reach. Then, another crazy dude mentioned about staying overnight but i still agreed to stay. Played PS2 all the way, Lol. Sean kept disturbing JiaChen about some stuff, rofl!
Ok, today's post. JL came to look to me after band, then we went to my house. After some time, i sent her home and went to play basketball with the dudes. God damn it, i slept on the bus and overshot i went, when i woke up, I was in Buona Vista, I was like 'wth?!' I had to take another bus back. Reached the court about 730, played a few matches, although not in very good form. On my way back, I saw some policeman chasing a guy, Lol. One of the policeman was scolding the guy, and the guy was like ranting vulgar back at him. Supposedly this crazy guy must have molest a girl or something, or even worse, he punched some policeman, thinking he is the fastest runner in the world, and got himself in a sticky situation, Lol. Ok, enough posting, going to start my gaming. Signing off, bye!
Finally, i am back from the chalet and doing my cyber activities as usual. It was quite fun, although i had to spend a bit more than the others, if you all know what i mean. I think all of our relationship had improved and more bonding, i suppose. I am looking forward to the N-levels, ain't i weird? (Ps: Now, i love you even more and think of you even more. Missing you a lot.)
Hi guys, i am blogging, apparently, but not at my own house, at WenJie's house. The usual gang went to his house for some partying, without booze and girls though as we are still not of age, so not exactly that fun. I suppose i will update this after dinner, Brb!
Doctor Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he’d hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said:
“Dave, don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients, and you won’t be the last. And you’re single. Just let it go, Dave.”
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering:
“Dave… Dave… Dave, you sick bastard. You’re a vet.”
Next one.. ^^
A man with a bad stomachache goes to his local doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies that the illness is quite serious but can be cured with a small course of two suppositories inserted deep into the rectum.
The man agrees and the doctor tells him to bend over, and shoves the thing way up his behind. The doctor then hands him the second dose and tells him to do the same thing in six hours time using rubber gloves and KY-Jelly or something.
So, the man goes home and later that evening tries to get the second suppository inserted, but he finds he cannot reach himself properly to obtain the required depth. Thus, he calls his wife over and tells her what to do. The wife nods, puts one hand on his shoulder to steady him and with the other shoves the medicine home.
Suddenly the man screams in disgust.
“What’s the matter hun?” asked his wife. “Did I hurt you?”
“No,” replies the man, “but I just realized that when the doctor did that, he had BOTH hands on my shoulders.” (Disgusting, don't blame me, lol)
Another one.. ^^
So the other night my wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we’re laying in bed. I looked over at her and, in my sexiest voice, asked her “Wanna have sex?”
“No.” She answered.
I said, “Is that your final answer?”
“Yes.” She replied.
So I said, “I’d like to phone a friend.”
Next, this is funny!
This is my kindergartener’s artistic rendering of a pair of scissors. I wonder what his teacher thought… I allowed myself just a small smirk when I saw it. I waited until he was out of the room before I started crying, from laughing so hard.
Well, of course they’re scissors. If you know someone with small children or you’re a teacher… you will love this! I can certainly imagine seeing this proudly displayed on a mother’s fridge at home… (Ps: This is real, Lol!)
Last one, seriously.
A family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?
The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions.”
“Onions?”
“Yes, you see them and they make you cry.”
This infuriated the wife and daughter. So the daughter said ” Mom, how many kinds of penises are there?”
The mother, surprised, smiles and looks at her daughter and answers, “Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man’s twenties, his penis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree?”
“Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only!” (I’ll never look at Christmas trees the same way again.)
Some (dirty) jokes to be shared. Sorry if i offended you!
Three friends were playing golf one beautiful Sunday morning, as usual, and they never missed a weekend. As one of them was about to take the first tee a guy, by himself, asked if he could join their flight. The friends looked at each other and figured “sure, why not,” as they haven’t played with anyone else in quite some time.
So they teed off and all four were getting along pretty well. Right about the turn, on the 9th hole, they were all chit chatting and getting to know one another. Curious, one of the friends asked the new guy what he did for a living and, funny enough, he told them he was a hitman. They all kind of laughed it off, and asked him again – this time seriously.
The stranger said “No really, I’m hitman. My gun is in my golf bag, I carry it everywhere I go. You can take a look if you don’t believe me, I’ve never been dishonest.”
So one of the guys in the group decided to take him up on the offer and, opening the bag, sure enough revealed a really nice rifle with huge scope mounted at the top. He got all excited about it. He said “WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look through it?”
“Sure,” said the stranger.
So the man looked around for a second and said “HELL YEAH! You can! I can even see through my windows into my bedroom. There’s my wife, naked. Sweet! Isn’t she beautiful? WAIT! There’s my next door neighbor! He’s naked too! And he’s in my room!”
This upset the golfer, terribly, so he asked the hitman how much he would charge for a hit. The hit man replied “It’s $1000 every time I pull the trigger.” The man said “$1000, ouch! Well, OK. I want two hits. I want you to shoot my wife right in the mouth. She’s always nagging at me and I can’t stand it. Then I want you to shoot my neighbor right in the crotch, for screwing around with my wife.”
The hit man agrees, gears up and takes aim through the scope. He’s looking for what has to be 10 minutes. The golfer begins to get impatient and asks the hitman what he’s waiting for. The hitman replies kind of anxiously, “Just hold on a minute… I’m about to save you a thousand bucks!”
Another one ^^
A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since his family lives on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores.
‘Not yet momma,’ said the little boy.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.
He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
‘How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?’ he asks.
‘Well,’ his mother says, ‘I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren’t getting any milk.’
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says: ‘Are you going to tell him, or should I?
Some (dirty) jokes to be shared. Sorry if i offended you!
Three friends were playing golf one beautiful Sunday morning, as usual, and they never missed a weekend. As one of them was about to take the first tee a guy, by himself, asked if he could join their flight. The friends looked at each other and figured “sure, why not,” as they haven’t played with anyone else in quite some time.
So they teed off and all four were getting along pretty well. Right about the turn, on the 9th hole, they were all chit chatting and getting to know one another. Curious, one of the friends asked the new guy what he did for a living and, funny enough, he told them he was a hitman. They all kind of laughed it off, and asked him again – this time seriously.
The stranger said “No really, I’m hitman. My gun is in my golf bag, I carry it everywhere I go. You can take a look if you don’t believe me, I’ve never been dishonest.”
So one of the guys in the group decided to take him up on the offer and, opening the bag, sure enough revealed a really nice rifle with huge scope mounted at the top. He got all excited about it. He said “WOW! I bet I can see my house through here! May I look through it?”
“Sure,” said the stranger.
So the man looked around for a second and said “HELL YEAH! You can! I can even see through my windows into my bedroom. There’s my wife, naked. Sweet! Isn’t she beautiful? WAIT! There’s my next door neighbor! He’s naked too! And he’s in my room!”
This upset the golfer, terribly, so he asked the hitman how much he would charge for a hit. The hit man replied “It’s $1000 every time I pull the trigger.” The man said “$1000, ouch! Well, OK. I want two hits. I want you to shoot my wife right in the mouth. She’s always nagging at me and I can’t stand it. Then I want you to shoot my neighbor right in the crotch, for screwing around with my wife.”
The hit man agrees, gears up and takes aim through the scope. He’s looking for what has to be 10 minutes. The golfer begins to get impatient and asks the hitman what he’s waiting for. The hitman replies kind of anxiously, “Just hold on a minute… I’m about to save you a thousand bucks!”
I am an ordinary guy, a typical type who likes to style their hair before going out. Currently a member of my school's english drama club and track and field team, both are my pride. I can be as sexy as you want, or evil, or naughty, or irritating, or even idiotic.
